Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A new season

1There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

When I stop moving, stop working, stop hustling and bustling around, these ancient words always come to mind. In typical fashion, I usually remember the opening in reverse, “for everything there is a time,” but I don’t think that matters too much. It doesn’t change the meaning of the words, or how I apply them to my life. Most recently, my life has seen a season of trying new things, and laying the groundwork for my last working years. A time to plant, as it were.

At a glance, those two things might seem to be at odds, but my life is one of polar opposites. Maybe it’s because I’m a Gemini. Anyway, I’ve gone through a time of serious home improvement work with new roof shingles, the installation of a central air conditioning system, and now a roof over my patio. All of this was done to ‘feather my nest’ in preparation of scaling back and working less hours. If the economy cooperates, it may actually happen.

It’s been difficult to be away from the writing, but it was important to accomplish these items without incurring any debt. I love to write! It defines who I am in ways nothing else does. Yes, I’m someone’s wife, someone’s best friend, someone’s daughter, but that defines me in relation to another. That I am a writer defines me to myself.

So, a season of hard work is behind me, one I don’t regret experiencing. I learned something every step of the way, which I consider important. I’ve eased into a season of taking better care of myself so I can once again tap into that central part of me and let the words flow. I’m more than a little excited at the prospect.

Where should I go first? What new characters await me? Can I attain the new goals I seek? I will if it is my season to do so. I’ve scattered so many stones along the way. It could be my time to gather them together and shore up old bridges even as I build new ones.

As exciting as it is to move forward again, it’s also daunting. The mistakes of the past, the ones that made it easy to set aside my keyboard for a small space of time, will always plague me. In the epublishing business, those mistakes were, and remain, visible. All I can do is set them behind me, and hope the lessons learned were not in vain. It is time to trust that the right people will come into my life.

And it’s time to trust that you are still there, waiting for a story.